I LOVE YOU GRANDPA JACK!

My Grandpa Jack passed away yesterday. I am at loss for words but at the same time my mind will not shut off; worrying about my family, reflecting on my wonderful memories and wishing I had seen him one more time…I am beyond sad. I know that everybody has to die at some point but you just never expect it. 

I grew up 20 minutes away from my Grandpa Jack and Grandma Nancy. Needless to say we were over there a lot and quite honestly I can’t remember a time I didn’t want to go. I loved visiting my grandparents. Grandma always made us delicious meals and Grandpa always kept us entertained with his happy smile and laugh. 

When I was in college my grandparents moved back to New York (where they are originally from). I’m happy that they got to spend quality time with family and friends on the East Coast but boy were they missed over here. I’ve only seen them once since they moved and that makes me sad. I wish I would have gathered all of my pennies and flown out there to see them…I just kept saying next year :(

At least I can take comfort in the fact that my grandpa knows how much I love him and that he is smiling down on me and our family. Instead of smiling and watching our lives through Facebook, I like to think he is actually here with us now. I will miss his sweet comments on Facebook; I could always picture him saying the things he would write with a big smile on his face. I remember when he got his first computer…oh man! He cracked me up, so determined to figure it out and yet so completely clueless. He definitely had to take itty bitty baby steps but eventually he caught on and he became an email / Facebook pro :) Although I did recently throw him a curve ball by introducing my blog…”Blog? What is that?” You know it’s kind of funny, now that I am saying all of this I’m not entirely sure who wrote me back about my blog. Once my grandpa mastered the computer I think he finally roped my grandma in and they used it equally as much but she always uses my grandpa’s Facebook and email accounts so it was hard to tell if it was him or her since they usually sign it g/g or left it blank. Isn’t that fitting for them?

They are a package…Grandma Nancy and Grandpa Jack OR Grandpa Jack and Grandma Nancy. It breaks my heart to think about my grandma being at home alone without my grandpa. I really hope my grandma takes me up on my offer to call whenever she wants. I can’t even imagine what she is going through. They are such a team. Growing up I never realized it but they were a rock for my mom, John, Beth, Kevin and I; A great example of dedication and love. It is no wonder John is such a wonderful dad to Beth, Kevin and I AND a loyal and loving husband to my mom. We are all so lucky to have had Grandpa Jack in our lives. I will continue to pray for him and my family and cherish my wonderful memories of him.

Man I feel like I can keep writing. I was going to stop there but I can’t stop my head from going. There is a lot I would have loved to have learned about my grandpa; luckily I can learn more through my grandma. There are also a lot of other things that I don’t want to forget. Yesterday I was flooded with different thoughts of him, once I stopped crying I started talking Juan’s ear off. My grandpa loved fishing….like a wake up before work and go fishing every day kind of guy. He always wore suspenders and flannel shirts. He gave great hugs! He had one of those infectious laughs that sounded raspy from all the years of smoking. I loved his garage…full of man stuff, collectibles and I think I will always remember the smell. That grandpa garage smell. He was proud of me :) like the kind of proud you could feel and makes your heart warm when you think about it. He always bragged about us kids. He worked hard and kept their huge property in Estacada nicely manicured (think that is where John got it from). He pushed me to apply for his companies family scholarship program for college and to my excitement (and of course his) I got it. He and grandma came to our house every single Christmas morning, car loaded with goodies and full of smiles to celebrate Christmas morning with us. We both LOVED Grandma Nancy’s banana cream pie. That was our thing :) He was short haha. I could go on and on.

I love my Grandpa Jack and feel so blessed to have had him in my life and want to be an even better person now that he is watching over me. Last night I was really really emotional but I had this feeling that Grandpa Jack was watching and I want him to see me happy and living my life. He never got to meet Juan and Gisele (although he has seen a million pictures and knows all about them), he was so happy for me and my little life I have here with Juan and Gisele. Last night I had little motivation to help Juan make dinner and then all of a sudden I thought…I want grandpa to see how well we work together, cooking, cleaning, laughing, really just living life….so I put a smile on…we listened to old country music (in honor of my grandpa) and I prayed that he is smiling down right there with us.  

Rocking my Grandpa's Fisherman's Belt today :)